do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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