If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
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Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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