I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
