no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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