I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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