I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize