Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
