Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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