Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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