We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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