his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
