Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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