Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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