I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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