a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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