we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
