the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
