Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
