Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
