Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
