I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're a waste of cheezeits
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
