take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
