Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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