Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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