I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize