dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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