i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize