Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize