she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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