As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
