You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
