so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
