Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
