Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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