Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Even my vagina gasped.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
