If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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