Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize