I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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