I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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