your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
