I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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