I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Let's paint friendship bongs
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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