I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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