I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
