we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
