i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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