After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
