You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
