I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
