He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Umm I'm too high to move.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
