and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
