BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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