Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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