I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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