Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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