im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize