hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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