you would pick up someone in the library
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
