The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize