You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
