I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
