Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
