I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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