Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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